


The Brink

by PrincessBubble95



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Car Accidents, Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Out of Body Experiences, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-02-12 19:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12967113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessBubble95/pseuds/PrincessBubble95
Summary: After a brutal car accident, Michael is left in the hospital fighting for his life. During an out-of-body experience, he has to deicde if he wants to stay or leave. What one will he choose?





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the movie, _If I Stay_.
> 
> This is my first fanfic on here, so constructive criticism is welcome. (only if it's nice, though)

**I DO NOT OWN QUEER AS FOLK.**

**I saw the trailer and some clips from the movie _If I Stay_ and got this idea.**

**This takes place towards the end of season 4 and in the middle of season 5.**

**This whole story’s told from Michael’s point of view.**

* * *

  **The Accident**

_Michael’s Voiceover- Italics_

_“It’s a funny thing. People say life is beautiful. And to some people, that’s true. Life_ is _beautiful. And to some people, that’s_ not _true. It all depends on how you look at it. Life is filled with ups and downs. There’s no doubt about that. However, if you’re not careful, one event can change your life forever.”_

I walked down Liberty Avenue with Ben. “I am so lucky.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I have a husband like you.”

“The feeling is mutual.” We stopped outside of Liberty Diner. “I made a great decision by walking into your comic shop.” I smiled.

The first time I met Ben, I instantly know there was something special.

* * *

  _I was at the comic book store that I recently bought. Emmett and Vic were helping me clean up and organize. Uncle Vic held up a comic. “‘The Squid’. ‘The Squid’?”_

_“Uh, issue and year?”_

_“Issue 21, 19–_

_“–67. Um, right wall bin, row three.”_

_Emmett said, “You know, I think they should be filed according to superhero fashion sense. Superheroes with taste, superheroes who clash–”_

_Uncle Vic replied, “Let’s hope they never let you near the Library of Congress.” Emmett chuckled._

_I sat down at my desk. “How did Buzzy run this place? Nothing’s catalogued, inventory’s non-existent, there’s no end-caps, there’s no window displays. This place is a fucking mess.”_

_Ma came in with some food and drinks for us. “Yeah, and it wouldn’t have killed the man to use a little Pledge now and then either.”_

_“What was I thinking buying this place?”_

_“Hell if I know. Shitty little store with a bunch of old musty comics.”_

_“Thanks for the pep talk, Ma.”_

_“But it’s your dream, sweetheart, and that’s all that matters.” Ma kissed my cheek and went off somewhere._

_I felt someone trip on my chair. “Ah-ha!”_

_“Em, where were you looking?”_

_“Ah, at him.” I looked to where Emmett was looking. I saw a tall, handsome looking guy. He looked to be six foot with glasses and short brunette hair. His clothes consisted of a blue button down shirt, a brown leather jacket and blue jeans. “Mm, those glasses. I just love the bookish type.”_

_“There’s so much to learn between the covers.”_

_“Hm.”_

_“So, what do we think?” I was so engrossed in the guy, I wasn’t paying attention._

_Uncle Vic lightly smacked my arm to get my attention. “Michael?”_

_I looked up at him. “Hm?”_

_“Yay or nay?”_

_Emmett said, “Hm, brown leather jacket, denim shirt, those shoes. Yeah, classic breeder wear. I say straight.”_

_“‘Sandman’, ‘Batman’, ‘Superman’. If he picks up an ‘X-Men’, I say gay.”_

_“I go with Michael. Comic sense over clothes sense.”_

_I saw him walk up to Ma. “Excuse me? Uh, I’m looking for, uh, ‘Wonder Woman’."_

_“You found her! Just kidding. You’re looking for my son. He’s the owner. Michael! You got a customer.”_

_Uncle Vic patted my shoulder: “You’re on.”_

_I got up and walked over to the tall guy. “Hi. Can I help you?”_

_“Uh, yeah, yeah. I hope so. I’m looking for some comic books.”_

_“Well, good thing you didn’t go next door. You’d gotten Lebanese take-out.” Ma laughed. “Anything in particular?”_

_“Uh, yes, yes, actually. I’m looking for works, that, uh, based on their uh, narrative, their graphics, cultural references, subtextual points of view, one might regard as–”_

_I thought about it and tried choosing my words carefully. “Gay?” I heard the bell ring and looked behind me._

_“Right.”_

_“Um, well you made some good choices here. Um, can I make some suggestions?”_

_“Please.”_

_“Um, you might try ‘Alpha Flight’ 106 where Northstar takes care of a boy with AIDS. Or, uh, I highly recommend ‘X-Force’ 56, where, uh, Rictor and Shatterstar are described as being ‘more than friends’. There’s one with Destiny and Mystique you should look at.”_

_“Oh, good.” He followed me to go look at more comics._

* * *

 “And I made a great decision when I said I’d marry you.” Ben smiled too.

“I guess we both made great decisions.” We both kissed. Ben had his hands on my waist and I wrapped my arms around Ben’s shoulders.

Brian walked up to us, sunglasses on and hands in pockets. “Can’t you two go a day without fucking?”

We let go and I laughed. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Well, I _could_ go a day without fucking...” He took his sunglasses off. “But what’s the fun in that?” He pocketed his sunglasses. I shook my head. Ben opened the door to the diner and we all went in.

Brian went to greet our friends while Ben and I went to the counter. Ma turned around. “Hey boys.”

“Hey, Ma.”

“So, what’ll it be?”

Ben said, “Wheaties.”

“And I’ll have scrambled eggs and white toast.”

“All right.” She got the order down. “Coming up.” She went to tell the cook the order.

Ben looked at his watch. “Oh, shoot. I’m gonna be late. Actually, Deb, can you make it a coffee to go? I got a class in 10 minutes.” He stood up.

“Well, 10 minutes is plenty of time to eat. Sit.” He sighed and sat down.

“I guess the teacher got in trouble,” I teased.

He leaned over and said to me, “Just for that, you’re gonna get it later.” I smiled.

Ma poured a cup of coffee and put it in front of Ben. While she poured my cup of coffee, she said, “Don’t forget, honey, you, me and Carl are going up North today.” She set my coffee in front of me.

“For what?” I took a sip.

“I have some relatives up there that I want you to meet.”

“Uh-huh. And these relatives wouldn’t happen to live in Canada, would they?”

“Oh, Michael. You know I miss them so much.”

“I do too. I miss _them._ I miss my _daughter._ I miss _Gus_. Not to mention the fact that I was at the hospital the night he was born.”

“You get attached to the ones you love. That’s what happens in life.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I hate to admit it, but you’re right.” She whopped me upside the head. “Ow! Jesus, Ma!” She smiled. “So, when we going?” I took another sip.

“This afternoon.”

I put my coffee down. “Can Hunter come?”

“Sure.”

“Can Ben come?”

“Of course.”

Ben looked up. “Actually, I can’t.”

Ma asked, “And why not?”

“I really wanna go. Believe me, I do... but I can’t. I have to give a lecture to my class, and I can’t reschedule.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Ma!”

“All right. I guess I understand.” Ma turned her attention back to me. “Then it’s just you, me, Carl and Hunter, sweetie.” I nodded.

After the diner, I decided to walk with Ben to the college. “It’s gonna be great seeing everyone, don’t you think?”

I replied, “Yeah... and it would be even better with you there.”

We stopped when we were outside the college. Ben turned to me. “Michael–”

“No, Ben. Don’t do this.”

“You know why I can’t go.”

“Yeah, but can’t you get someone to cover for you?”

“Michael, you know how much I wanna go. To see Mel and Lindz. To see JR.”

“Then come with me.”

“Michael–”

“Ben, it’s not hard to say no. Get someone to fill in for you.”

“Michael, I can’t go.

“Ben–”

“Look, I have to go.” He kissed me on the cheek. “Say hi to Mel, Linds and JR for me.” He turned around and left, leaving me speechless.

When two o’clock came, Hunter and I met outside Ma’s house. She and Carl were by the car. Ma said, “Okay, are we all ready?”

I said, “Yeah.”

“Michael, make sure you go to the bathroom first. We got a long drive.”

“Ma!”

Hunter laughed and I glared at him. “Aw, come on, dude. That’s funny!”

“All right! Let’s hit the road!” We all piled in the car; Hunter and I in the back seat, Ma in the passenger’s seat, and Carl was driving. I was behind Carl and Hunter was behind Ma.

As we were riding along, I was looking out the window and smiled. _“I’d like to consider myself lucky. I got a great family, great husband, great kids, great friends. Sure, I don’t have a perfect life... but I am grateful for what I_ do _have.”_

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a pickup truck coming toward us. Carl swerved to avoid it, but...

 _“But just like that..."_ SMASH! " _...it can be gone.”_

I flutter my eyes open and my vision is blurry at first. I blink and open them all the away. When I do and my eyes adjust, I see tree branches and the sky above. I am lying in the snow. I slowly stand up and emerge from the embankment. I looked down at my clothes. I am wearing a red long sleeve shirt, blue jeans and brown shoes. I then take a look around at my surroundings and I am terrified.

The gray car my family and I were riding in is flipped over and is totaled. Flames also emerge from it. It’s a small fire, though. Barely anything is left of the car. A couple ambulances, firetrucks and a police car are here. I run down the road and two paramedics pass me. “Hello? Excuse me?” I run down the road some more and see a couple firemen by the car. An ax lay by the car and a fireman is holding the jaws of life. I desperately looked around. Panic entered me and I yelled, “Ma?! Carl?! Hunter?!” I feared the worst and knew they didn’t make it. It seemed like I was the only one that made it through the crash.

I see that multiple paramedics are leaned over someone and I run over. Who I see shocks me. They are leaned over me! Blood has seeped through my black jacket and dark blue shirt. It pooled up in the snow. My brown and orange scarf has blood on it too. I could see that my leg was a little crooked. Blood seeped through the blue jeans also. The only thing that doesn’t have blood on them is my gray and orange sneakers. My eyes are closed, as I am unconscious. My black hair has some blood in it as well. I have a few cuts and bruises on my face too.

I hear one of the paramedics say, “Wanna start him on a tube?”

Another said, “No. Get the bag.” He says something else, but I don’t hear. I see the paramedic who asked to start me on a tube place the mask of a bag over my mouth. 

I turn around. I have to. This isn’t right. This isn’t real. It can’t be real. It has to be a dream... more like a nightmare. I must’ve fallen asleep and am having a nightmare like I used to when I was little and still have them occasionally. I need to wake up. Wake up, Michael! Wake up!

I put my hands on my head and am in tears. “Wake up! Come on, Michael! Wake up! Wake up.”

I see the paramedics lift the stretcher and wheel it to the ambulance, with me on it. I was covered with a blanket and had on oxygen mask on. “Patient is in critical condition! Glasgow Coma is at a seven! We have to move now!” One talked into a walkie on his collar. “We have a 34 year old male in critical condition. Route to Pittsburgh now.”

They place me in the ambulance and I run after them. “No!” I get in and they close the door. As the ambulance drives away, I look outside and see everything getting further and further away.


	2. Memory #1- Introducing Ben

**I DO NOT OWN QUEER AS FOLK.**

* * *

 

**Memory #1- Introducing Ben**

_Michael’s Voiceover- Italics_

_“The night I introduced Ben to my mom and Uncle Vic, it was... unforgettable, to say the least.”_

Ma, Uncle Vic, Ben and I were in the living room. Ben started a conversation. “My mom never did anything half-assed. She couldn’t just join P-FLAG, right? She had to be the chapter president.”

Uncle Vic replied, “Sounds familiar.”

“I bet you two’d have a lot in common, Ma.”

Ma didn’t look too impressed. “Uh-huh. Anybody hungry? I am.”

Ma was in the kitchen and I walked in to join her. “You need any help?”

“Nope.”

“Ben’s awesome, isn’t he?”

“Awesome. Where’s my goddamn cheese grater?”

“I like him, Ma. I like him a lot.”

She found her cheese grater and started grating cheese. “I know you do, sweetheart. I like him too. He’s handsome, charming, smart, obviously works out more than once a week. I just don’t like him for you.” She stopped and turned around. “And frankly, I don’t like you ambushing me.”

“I did not ambush you.”

“You know how I feel about him. I made it perfectly clear. And yet, you didn’t even bother to tell me you were bringing him.”

“I don’t need your permission.”

“This is still my house. And in my house, you still say ‘Mother, may I?’”

“I love him, Ma. That’s the reality... and you’re just gonna have to live with it.”

We were all at the dinner table eating and having conversation. Uncle Vic started. “God, I miss New York. I lived there for 12 years. What’s that bar on the upper west side? The Works. You ever go there?”

Ben replied, “Are you kidding? I grew up right around the corner.”

Ma spoke up. “So, how long you been positive, Ben?”

“Mother.”

“I’d just like to know.”

Ben turned his head to me. “That’s okay. I’m fine with it.” He turned his attention back to Ma. “Five years.”

“What’s your t-cell count?”

“Uh, 600.”

“Ever been hospitalized?”

“No, not yet.” He rapped the table with his knuckle. “Knock wood.”

“Viral load?”

“Undetectable.”

“On the cocktail?”

“Anti-virals.”

I had enough. “What the fuck do think you’re doing?”

“ _This_ is the reality, sweetheart... and you’re just gonna have to live with it.” She picked up a bowl. “Garlic bread?”


	3. Hospial Arrival

**I DO NOT OWN QUEER AS FOLK.**

* * *

 

**Hospital Arrival**

I sat on the bench in the ambulance as I saw the paramedics working on me. I saw the hospital come into view and the ambulance pulled in. I had a frightened look on my face. It pulled up to the emergency entrance. The paramedics rushed out with me and into the hospital. A couple doctors assisted as the paramedics wheeled me into the department. I followed. “What do we got here?”

One of the paramedics said, “Collapsed lung, broken ribs. Looks like three. Abrasions to the legs, face. Brain contusions, full extent unknown. And an internal bleed. Rest of the family’s on the way in.” Rest of the family? So, Ma, Carl, and Hunter _did_ make it.

The doctor put out orders. “Ultrasound, X-ray, 12-chem. Type and cross-match. We need to find out his blood type in order to start a transfusion.”

“Blood type? _Transfusion?”_ My face had panic all over it. “What?”

They closed the curtain. “Let’s get an RT down here, please.”

I heard, “On my count. One, two, three.”

I ran up to the front desk. “Excuse me, ma’am? My family’s being brought in. Debbie Novotny, Carl Horvath and Hunter Novotny-Bruckner.” She ignored me. “Hello?” Why aren’t people answering me?

I saw multiple doctors pushing me on a bed. A saline bag was on a pole attached to the bed and multiple IV’s were in my arm. One doctor held the bag from earlier against my mouth. Another said, “Ruptured spleen, we need to move. We’re taking Michael Novotny into operating room one.”

I followed them. “All right, we need to get him in there. We need to remove the spleen, drain the lung and figure out what’s causing the bleed.” What’s causing the bleed? I was in a car accident, for crying out loud! “He better start fighting if he wants to live.”

“What? Start fighting? How? Just help me! Please talk to me!” Am I invisible? They wheeled me down the hall and headed to the operating room.

I entered the operating room. The doctors and nurses were preparing to operate on me. The head doctor said, “Okay. His sutures. An arterial line is set. Let’s go people. If we don’t get this done, he doesn’t stand a chance.” Great, just what I wanted to hear. A nurse handed the doctor some tools to start working on me. “Thank you.”

“Glasgow Coma is still high. We need to hurry.”

“I’m dying, aren’t I? That’s why I’m here.”

I see a nurse lean down and say to me, “Okay. Here’s the thing, sweetie. This’s all up to you. If you live, if you die, it’s your choice.” My choice? “So try to fight with everything you have in you.” Again, _what?_

“Call the blood bank. I need two units of O neg and–” I left after that. I honestly didn’t know what to think about all this, but I had to get to Ben. Tell him what’s going on. I ran out of the hospital and made my way to Carnegie Mellon.

When I arrived at the college, I ran in. I navigated the numerous amount of students in the hallway. I eventually made it to Ben’s classroom and burst in. “Ben!”

“In history, the homophobia in our culture didn’t always exist. There were cultures in which the love between two men was accepted, not denied. That’s not always true in today’s culture, though. The love between two men is not always accepted, but in some cultures, it _is._ ”

“Ben! This is an emergency!”

Ben said to himself, “Maybe I should call Michael. I was too hard on him.” He looked up at his class. “You may talk amongst yourselves.” He grabbed his phone off his desk and dialed my number.

I heard my voicemail. _“Hi. You’ve reached Michael Novotny. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”_

“Huh. Michael almost always answers his phone.”

“I’m in the hospital, you idiot! I’m being operated on! Come on! This’s an emergency! It’s a matter of life and death!”

He put his phone on his desk. “Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Talking about gay–” His phone rang and he sighed. He picked it up and answered it. “Hello . . . This is . . . What!?! Well, is he okay?” Of course, I’m not! “Oh my god! I’ll be there soon.” He flipped his phone shut. As he frantically gathered his stuff, he said, “Okay. I have a family emergency and need to get to the hospital, so class dismissed.” His class got up and filed out. After they left, we went out and Ben locked the door. We took off and exited the college, making our way to the hospital.


	4. Memory #2- Dinner Conversation

**I DO NOT OWN QUEER AS FOLK.**

* * *

 

**Memory #2- Dinner Conversation**

_Michael’s Voiceover- Italics_

_“Ma invited Ben over for dinner, and let’s just say... I got a big shock that night.”_

Ben and I were having dinner with my mom and Uncle Vic. They were excited about my comic. Ma was standing up and flipping through it. “Zephyr looks just like you, a-and J.T. looks like Justin.” I nodded.

Uncle Vic added, “And Rage is the spitting image of Brian.”

“How come I’m not in here? What? Superheroes don’t have mothers?”

Uncle Vic added again, “Who washes their tights? Who irons their capes?”

“Ben, honey, here. Have some more rigatoni.” Ma scooped more on his plate.

“Oh, no, no, Debbie. I couldn’t.”

“Sure you can.”

“Ma, will you stop force-feeding him?”

“He’s one of the family now.”

Ben said to me, “Excuse me, I’m one of the family.”

“My sincere condolences.”

Ma swatted me with my comic and then sat down. “What Michael means is... membership has its privileges.”

“What? You gonna hit him over the head now too?”

“Including a two-week package in the Poconos.”

I said, “We’ve been going there every summer for two weeks since I was nine.”

“Yeah. Right by the lake.”

Uncle Vic said, “It’s the perfect place to relax.”

Ma said, “I cook.”

With a mouthful, I said, “I sleep.”

Uncle Vic said, “I camp.”

Ma asked, “So, why don’t you come with us?”

Ben said, “Oh, I would love to... if I’m here.”

I asked, “Where would you be?”

“Well, I was actually thinking about going to Tibet.”

Ma said, “Honey, that’s a long way to go for a vacation.”

“Yeah. Well, it wouldn’t exactly be a vacation. There’s this Buddhist academy. It’s near Lhasa, the capital. A friend of mine just got back from studying there. He said it was the most profound experience that he ever had. It changed his life.”

Ma added, “Well, no heat, no electricity, and no toilet paper can’t do that.”

I asked, “So, you’d be there for like a couple weeks?”

“Um, well, it’s an extensive program. So, if I decided to go... more like six months.” We were all shocked and didn’t know what to say.


End file.
